Some of this series will include in depth teachings and all will involve testimonies. As I have said before, God leads us in a journey of freedom. Everyone’s journey looks different. May God speak to you as you read this and may you identify the unhealthy soul ties you have formed in your life.
2 Corinthians 6:14 says “Do not yoke yoursef together ina team with unbelievers. For how can rightousness and lawlessness be partners? What fellowship does light have with darkness?” (CJB).
When we form relationships, any kind of relationship, there is a spiritual aspect to the relationship.
Soul ties between a mother and a child are meant to be…ordained by God. That soul tie can become corrupted and out of balance. Once a child is an adult, the relationship must change and grow.
There are also evil soul ties that we form through sin than can cause us to keep returning to sin. The best example of this is sexual relations outside the bond of marriage. When you have sex outside of marriage, a soul tie is formed. The soul tie can pop up at any time. I heard it described as suddenly, you think of someone you haven’t thought about in years, then a day or two later, they contact you or you run into them. The soul tie leads you back to one another.
We fostered for about 5 years. We fostered a set of twins that we were told were “adoptable”. We brought them home from the hospital and we loved them. We wanted to adopt them and felt they were a part of our family. After 7 months or so, a family member agreed to take on the twins and they were transferred. We were heart broken. We loved them and had given our hearts to them. A few months later, I agreed to take on a foster that was going to be temporary. That foster didn’t turn out very well for other reasons. My husband, grieved the twins. We held a spot open in case they could be placed back with us. In my heart, I knew our family wasn’t “complete”. I talked to our agency about placing a baby with us. They offered me two different baby boys, both sweet white boys with blond hair that they said looked like my son. The problem with this is, my husband is Hispanic and we aren’t a “white” family. I asked them for a “brown” baby…any shade of brown. That may sound strange to some but I’ve always wanted a diverse family…kind of “all the colors of the rainbow” (we still haven’t achieved this). In the meantime, we embarked upon our freedom journey. We were leading freedom small groups at our church (we eventually became the freedom pastors). We took a group to Gateway church in Southlake Texas to attend a conference called Kairos. During one of the sessions the speaker talked about soul ties and how sometimes we have to break good soul ties (soul ties we view as good) in order to be open to what God has for our future. This doesn’t mean we cut people off or eliminate them from our lives. As she spoke, God spoke to me about the soul ties we had with the twins. As long as we had that soul tie, no other baby would be good enough; we would always compare that baby to the twins. I spoke with my husband and we cried. I prayed. He said I had heard from God but he didn’t want to do it. I prayed about it and broke the soul ties. The next day (about 24 hours later), we were still at the conference. I got a call from our agency that they had a “brown baby” for us and could we go to the hospital (about 10 minutes from our house) and pick her up. We were in the Dallas metroplex about 4 hours from home. We were the leaders of the group. We said we could not pick her up that day. To be clear, no one holds a foster child for a family….not until now. Thankfully, she had some siblings also in care. That family did not want a newborn but agreed to take her for the night. We picked her up at the ballpark the next day. This was all God. That baby is our daughter.
This whole topic was on my mind this week as we visited family for Thanksgiving. Even in our families we form soul ties that are unhealthy. Sometimes God wants us to sever the soul tie so He can re-establish it in a healthy way. As we grow and mature as people, family members have to begin to see us differently. Due to strange soul ties (and sometimes generational curses – which is my next topic of discussion), we maintain the same relationships we had with parents or siblings that we had as children.
Any time one party is being manipulative in the relationship for any reason (even “noble” reasons or so they think), it is a sign of an unhealthy soul tie.
Another area that is is easy to develop an ungodly soul tie is with spiritual leaders. If there is anyone in your life who has become the “voice of God” for you; thus replacing God in your life, you have formed an unhealthy soul tie. Yes, there is wisdom in counsel. Yes, there are times God speaks through other people. No one person should be voice of God in your life. It is not healthy for you or them. Stop putting pastors and spiritual leaders on a pedestal. We are not to worship anyone but God.
Dear Jesus, I ask You today to bring to mind any soul tie in my life that is not Your will for me. Right now, I break my soul tie with _______________. I ask that You would heal my heart and guide me to the soul ties that are Your will for me. God, I ask that You would grant me healthy, godly relationships and that You would change and renew my mind to think how You think. Your Word says that I have the mind of Christ. I ask that the “mind of Christ ” would be manifest in me. I ask that You would give me a hesitation or a “check in my spirit” if I attempt to form any soul tie that is not Your will for me. Please help me to equally yoked with the people You place in my life. In Jesus mighty name, Amen.
Ezekiel Regiment 